concrete daydreams

chicago, los angeles, new york, boston; the citites that never sleep, the citites that people go to find themselves and end up losing their old sevles in between the over concentrated concrete and sky high buildings

i want to lose myself in the mass chaos yet fulfilling land that these cities hold 

I always dreamed of what my future would entail; someone to love me the way I want to love someone. where it hurts to be apart but it's comforting knowing you will always find your way back to them. I wanted an oak desk, custom made, big enough for my thoughts to be dumped out onto to be processed into readable words, also this is where I will place the picture of the happiest day of my life, we were all happy, watching our lives change before our eyes and the camera there at the right time so we would never forget. I wanted a bay window set in the middle of that desk looking out over the life on the streets and the cubicles placed simultaneously throughout those sky scrapers, the ones that an individual but so much time and love in.

but ultimately I want happiness. the kind that makes my whole body tremor when the autumn seeps in through the window for the first time all year, this, this is what I want. 

life. love. happiness. comfort. simple yet unattainable at times.

where the concrete ends the restlessness of thoughts begin and the constant sips of coffee continues. a stream of smoke outlines everything I've ever wanted. I go to grasp it and it dissipates. one day I tell myself, one day, ill have it all.